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Posts Tagged ‘Wales’

Since this will be my first official blog entry ever, I’ll begin with something simple and timely.  My name is Gwendolyn, although many of my friends and loved ones have only known me as Gwen, until recently.  Here’s the story.

 

I was born as Gwen.  My father was from Wales and my mother was very much a New England Yankee.  As the story goes, my Dad had wanted to name me Gwendolyn, among several very Welsh names, but Mom was wanting something a bit more American.  So Gwen was a good compromise.  Even so it was a bit different and there was the inevitable teasing at school, but I grew to like my name.

 

Now all of a sudden in my mid 40’s here I am making a change.  I could simply say it’s part of my mid-life crisis, but that just wouldn’t do.  As a point of fact, I hate pasting my experiences into a box- any easy answer that applies to everyone.  Life just isn’t that black and white and I’m not a fan of applying labels or boxes to people’s individual experiences.  You can blame an emotional outburst on PMS, but there’s real and deep stuff behind it that deserves honor and examination.  It’s terribly invalidating and fails to honor this process we call life. 


This change for me comes in my mid-life stage and it may mark a very personal part of my story.  During the past two years, I’ve had the honor of going over to Britain to explore the spiritual connection I’ve always felt from this place.  I’ve also made dear friends with Glenn and Cameron Broughton, of Sacred Britain Tours.  My feelings for the British isles run deep, and I resonate with the ancient history of the sacred sites there.  Whether this name change is from the connection to the British Isles, or to a shifting in the stage of my life, I cannot explain what specifically inspired me to do so.  I’ve had a few friends call me Gwendolyn in passing from time to time but I never thought about it being mine.  All of a sudden something has connected me with the energy of this name.   

 

It came very clear to me while I attended the Earth Spirit Conference, and it was really not triggered by any one speaker, although There were many Brits speaking there.  I cannot articulate what spurred this on, other than to say it was such a deep heart-knowing that presented itself to me.  Perhaps it was a whisper from my inner source, that resonated in my being like the sound of thunder.

 

I considered ignoring this urge and going along just the way things had been, but I knew that wouldn’t work.  For anyone who has experienced spirit working in your life, you know that spirit works sometimes in strange and rather insistent ways.  And if a new path opens to you, spirit won’t let you alone until you get it.  Sometimes it’s a gentle nudge and sometimes, if you’re not listening, it’s a cosmic baseball bat upside the head.  I’ve had those, they hurt.  I’m trying to cultivate deep listening skills so as to avoid those baseball bats.

 

So I thought about it, this re-naming, and it just seemed to feel right.  I really like the name Gwendolyn and for whatever reason it feels like it fits me now.  So I sat down and wrote an email to all my friends.  Their responses were mostly supportive but I could feel a tiny little sense of “What do you mean, I have to remember to call you Gwendolyn now?”  So I endeavor to patiently remind them, and sometimes they remind me.

 

Okay, it’s a personal growth thing, it’s a spiritual thing and it’s a mid-life thing.  Labels really don’t convey the depth of meaning it has for me.  So often I feel like I need to express what I’m experiencing spiritually, but the process of expression in words is elusive.  It seems that spirit defies description, transcends the physical and cannot be housed in a box.  There is more to a name than just a label.

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